Saturday, April 05, 2008
i've been trying to warn you not to go into the topic but we kept going further and further into it. i didnt like the topic, i knew i would get upset, and i so tried to warn you, but i guess its now too late. well i know i'm selfish, in the face of love, who wouldnt? i really dont know why i cant take it but i cant help it, i would if i could
u say that sometimes i get jealous and sometimes i dont care? well i dont know what makes u happy. its not that i dont care, i'm just trying to get over it as you said, and trying to just make things all the easier. why cant u see i'm trying so hard and its so much harder that i'm always shot down. i'm so low now i dont know if i can get back up
till then; 8:46 PM
Sunday, March 30, 2008
love is more than just a fairytale, it takes effort. loving someone is not easy, dont be fooled, life's no fairytale.
i've been trying, hard, very hard. please someone make it work. i pray.
till then; 3:21 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
haha well i'm back, from the depths, back to life, and enjoying every minute of it now.
i guess i've been wrong all these while. i admit i do wrongs sometimes but all i ever wanted was for u to be happy. i really hope u'll understand and then, it really makes loving u in the open so much more easier k.
well i'm breathing fresh air now, and the atmosphere around isnt that tense anymore. u know, i still get jitters pretty often but i'm kinda embarrassed to tell u so. i know its weird but i guess i cant help it =p
haha and finally, just wanna let u know that i'm not writing this because u asked me to k. i wanted to a long time ago but i never found the words to say until now. maybe its because there's more pressure on me now to write but i mean every single word i say (:
wishing u the happiness of a lifetime (: crippler
till then; 10:26 PM
Friday, February 01, 2008
i've probably done the stupidest thing in my life today. i've told the only one i truly love that its over. what for, i dont know...
maybe its the smartest thing i've ever done. maybe its also the best thing i've done for her. chocs, gifts, hugs and kisses, all these were just actions in which i would show my affection for her. but thinking deeper about it, it has never ever benefitted her in any way. what i've done so far, drag her down, make her upset and make her life miserable. i've never ever done anything gd for her. i really deserve to be slapped dont i...
the hardest thing to do, might also well be the only thing that i've done for her out of true love, love which wishes the best for the other person. i know that there'll only be more misery if we carry on and i dont wish for that to happen to you. all i really wish right now is that u can see how much i really care for u.
i might not be anyone special right now, but it doesnt mean i dont love u. i still do alot, and i miss u so badly now, i really dont know why i did what i did. i'll just be watching over u somewhere, and even if u dont ever realise that i'm there, i'll still continue to be there watching, cause i guess this is the only way i can continue loving u without making u sad anymore.
gdbye blog - crippler - guess everything here are just memories after all which will be remembered for dear life
till then; 11:06 PM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
haha happy post. its kinda weird for me to blog so often i guess but yeah happy happy :)
anyway jsut watched the show game plan and it really got me started to think on what was the happiest thing that have occured to me this year. straight away i knew what the answer was, it was you. without a doubt, nothing else came to mind, only you.
ay been down recently. got pang seiied for the movie and haha missed another session with brownian. haha maybe it somehow doesnt interest me anymore, at least, not as much as last time. but the week's been pretty gd and back to training i go tmr and hopefully i'll last through it. sucks being lousy man. really wanted to see the night decos though, maybe i'll take a bus through.
crippler
till then; 6:32 PM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
ay i dont know how to react any longer
went out with my sis today for lunch, really gd catching session and had lots of fun. went around shopping for gifts, hoping to get you something, but i just didnt know wad. ate at crstal jade, i must say the food's really not that bad. then went window shopping and went home.
really dont know why but it felt so weird. i keep staring at my phone, staring at my screen saver, hoping for some kind of message and just waiting. its like i'm really anxiously waiting for you to do something but i really dont know what. when u said maybe not sat even, my heart really broke, it really did.
thanks sis for all the advice i guess, and for the day that took my mind off alot of things. thanks
till then; 7:15 PM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
argh. im damn scared. we're doing REVISION of past year's work and i know nothing.
regret in ip? let it not be, argh i needa work hard. HARDER HARDER.
please god, help me.
till then; 10:04 PM